To Whom It May Concern
by Dazma
Summary: Death fic. Relena kills herself. Basically this is her letter explaining why she commits suicide, and Heero's reaction when he finds the letter.
1. To whom it may concern

_To whom it may concern,_

_I'm sorry for my selfish ness, but I needed an out. The whole world wanted a little piece of me, and eventually I ran out of me to give._

Heero's brow was creased with worry as he walked into Relena's office. He'd been looking for her for a few hours now. She did have a tendency to run off from time to time, compromising her security, so he wasn't quite panicked… yet. 

_I wanted to find some other way, but there wasn't any. I tried to keep going really, but I just couldn't. Everyone was so happy, and the ultimate peace was finally achieved. I'm not needed anymore. _

Heero's eyes fell on a note that sat on top of Relena's desk. He recognized her elegant writing right away. Long strides carried him across the room quickly, and he picked up the letter from the otherwise spotless desk. He skimmed over it quickly, his eye's widening with dread.

_Hilde and Duo are expecting their first child. Sally and Wufei, expecting their second. Catherine and Quatre finally got engaged, and Dorothy and Trowa will soon be too, I suspect. _

_Noin and Milliardo will be celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary, and Zachary's third birthday. And Heero, who I guess will be the first to discover this letter, thus the first to read it… well, what can I say to you Heero. You've finally learned show your emotions, you don't need me pestering you to crack a smile any more._

Heero dropped the letter and ran to the door, he knew where she would go to do this, he just hoped with all his might, he'd be able to get there in time to stop her. 

_I wished… no, that's not right. I wanted, begged for you to feel the same way about me, as I felt for you, but you didn't. And eventually in the end I realized that's all really mattered to my heart._

Heero whipped down the road on his motorcycle, pushing for more speed, racing against time.

_Please don't cry. Don't be sad. I'm happy now. I don't want you to feel guilty, to feel as though you neglected me, or didn't notice. Don't think you could've done something to help me. It wasn't any of you, just the stress of my life, and the pain I suffered from my past. Please, don't get me wrong, I would never of wanted to change any of my life. _

As he turned the corner he saw her standing on the edge of the cliff, her eyes glued to the sea below her. She was dressed simply in a plain white dress with her golden brown hair left to fly freely in the wind. Her gaze shot up to meet his for a split second before he rounded another corner and lost sight of her again.

_The pain made me strong enough to help bring peace, and I spent my life helping people. I wouldn't have changed anything even if I could. Never the less, it become to much, and even when surrounded by people I felt lonely. Food lost its appeal, and sleep became rare. I was depressed, to the core, yet almost happy to be depressed in a sense. Can you understand that?_

When Heero came in sight of the cliff again, Relena wasn't standing there.

_I wanted to do this. I had achieved everything I could with my life. To stay would have just caused problems. Therefore, this is how it must end. _

Heero jumped off his motorcycle and ran to the edge of the cliff. He looked about wildly but couldn't see her anywhere. The sea had taken her away from the world.

_Shikata ga nai._

Heero just stood there, eyes glued to the water below, not moving even as the sun started to dip below the horizon.

_I want you all to remember my next words, and consider them carefully. _

_"No bird soars to high, if he soars with his own wings." I have soared as high as my own wings may take me, and I don't wish to ride any higher if it is not by my own doing.._

The sun had finally set when Heero heard a car approaching. It drew closer and closer until it was right behind his bike and out jumped two people. "Yuy, where is she? Is she okay?" cried a frantic Milliardo. 

"She's dead."

_And with that, I finish my last letter to the world._

Three hours later Heero still stood in the same spot. "Heero?" came Duo's voice from behind. "You should go home now. They'll start looking for her body in a few minutes."

He didn't move. 

_Ai shiteru._

The funeral was beautiful. Milliardo had gone full out. There had been over three million people standing outside the gates that surrounded the Maxwell Church.

_Goodbye._

Heero sat alone on the cliff overlooking the sea. He turned his head to the right and let his gaze sweep over the sparkling sands of the beach where he first met the hope of the people.

_-Relena Elizabeth Darlian Peacecraft_

"S_ayonara_, Relena."

Disclaimer- I own nothing. Unfortunately Gundam Wing belongs to rich important people, and I'm just a little nobody.

A/N- Thanks for reading my pitiful story. please review!!! Oh, and Shikata ga nai means this must be, it can not be helped. 


	2. Author's Note

Hello Fanfiction Readers,

If you're reading this, you've most likely already read the story "To Whom It May Concern".  This is just a little message I wanted to post about the story.  

You see, in the story, Relena embraces suicide and asks the people in her life not to cry for her, to be happy.  She also tells them that she had no other choice, that this was all that was left for her to do.  Well let me just say one thing:

SUICIDE IS STUPID!  IT IS A LONG TERM ANSWER TO SHORT TERM PROBLEMS!!!

No matter how bad your life gets, suicide is NEVER the right answer.  The reason Relena commits suicide in this story is because it made for a good story, and I felt like writing a death fic one day.  I know the story glorifies suicide to some extent, but that doesn't make it a good option.  Think about how everyone who knew her must have felt!

Please, if you're considering suicide, feel like there is nothing left for you to live for, or just feel depressed or upset, talk to somebody.  Whether it is a friend, family member, or a professional.  Let someone in, and let him or her help you.

I know it sounds hard to some of you to talk to other people about how you're feeling, I have the same problem.  I was, and still am very depressed, but believe it or not, talking to someone DOES HELP!  It might not right away, but in the end it's better than facing your emotions on your own.

Thank you for reading my story, and this little note.  I just felt it was very important to put this note on the end of my story, and I would ask anyone else who writes stories about suicide to put a similar note on theirs.  We're not trying to promote suicide, we're just writing stories.

-Dazma


End file.
